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:: bAnal Probe ::

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:: Friday, March 28, 2003 ::

It's apparent to me that blogging has become some sort of therapeutic outlet for me. I've been without access to my regular blog for 2 days now, and as much as I miss having the outlet, I also miss the input of comments and hits. I wonder if it's unhealthy to have such an intense need to be heard and be responded to, even reacted to. Is this a basic human need, with the typical variances dependant upon personality...or is it an imbalance on my part that I need to correct using some other means?

I'm climbing the walls here without the availability of my usual mode of expression. I don't know what to do with myself and all of my thoughts that crop up during the day. Somehow, it's not enough to merely write them down anymore without sharing them.
:: drublood 10:38 AM [+] ::
...
Nightmare.

I had a very disturbing dream last night. our house had rats. Actually, the rats had created a nest right in the open, on my bed. There were two adult rats and three HUGE baby rats. I had called someone, and they had told me that for every rat that I see, there are 10 rats that I don't.

So I brought my dog into the room, not the dog I have now, but Cash, my dog who died of cancer a few years ago. When she entered the room, all of the rats scattered except for the smallest (but still huge) baby rat. Cash spoke to me, and said, I will get that rat...at least that will be one that I can get. And she grabbed the baby rat and sunk her teeth into it.

The rat was still alive, and it looked at us with eyes which were hauntingly pleading and fearful. Cash continued to talk to me. She said "I'm going to take care of this" and she shook the rat violently back and forth.

The rat refused to die, so Cash once more turned to me and said "I'm going to take care of this" and once again I noticed a look of absolute fear and innocence in the eyes of the rat as Cash finally killed it by biting down on its head and hitting its body against to wooden porch, breaking its back.
:: drublood 9:41 AM [+] ::
...
Hey everyone. I have come back here to post my anti-war rants because full bleed is currently out of service, and the alternate location is also temporarily down. I'll be back with more later.
:: drublood 9:27 AM [+] ::
...
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